So mom and dad finally bought you that
Amphicar you've been begging them for?
That's great! Now what are you going to call
it? Choosing a name for your Amphicar can
be a very difficult but important task. Fear not,
as Amphipoda is here to give you some Amphi
naming tips.

Before you begin to think of a name, here are
three rules you should stick by:

Rule #1. It might seem funny to name your
Amphicar "Amphi." And if you have more than
one Amphi, it might seem hilarious to name the
first one you get "One," the second one "Two,"
the third one... well, you get the idea. These
names will seem less funny every time you
hear them until they just become annoying.
Try to be a little more creative.

Rule #2. Once you give your Amphi a name,
stick with it. For some reason, a lot of people
never call their Amphi by the name they originally
give it and even have two or three different
nicknames for it. I think this only confuses your
Amphi. If you have to give it a nickname, limit it
to one. Don't go changing your Amphi's name
every other week! If you think of a really great
name after your Amphi has already been named,
save it for your next Amphi. Or start naming
things like trees, stuffed animals, your computer,
your mermaid...

Rule #3. Don't name your Amphi anything you
wouldn't say in front of your grandma or teacher.
This means no really bad words and nothing too
horribly gross! How would you like to be called
"Exxon Valdez"? Remember, Amphis have
feelings too.

Now that we have the rules established, here are
some ideas to help you out.

Descriptive Names
These are the easiest to think up. Give your Amphi
a name inspired by its color, markings, attitude,
abilities, or resemblance to a well-known person
or inanimate object. Refrain from derogatory
names like "Anchor" and "MAYDAY" as these
can mess with your Amphi's mind and can spawn
anti-social behavior.

People Names
These are pretty easy too. Name your Amphi after
your favorite captain, actor, athlete, artist, scientist
(like Darwin, my personal favorite) or astronaut.
You can also give your Amphi a name you wish
you had instead of yours. You can give your Amphi
a first, middle and last name if you want, and call
it by it's full name when it's bad just like mom did
to you!

Cute Names
These are, well... cute. But would you like to go
through life with a name like "Mr. Snuggle
Wuggle"? Just think about that for a minute.
Sheesh. Talk about messing up an Amphis life.
Get real. Most Amphis are good-n-cute but most
cute names aren't good for Amphi.

Funny Names
Name a blue Amphi "Rose," a white Amphi
"Darth Vader." This kind of name will seem
a lot less funny after you hear it fifty times,
so make it a really good. For example the name
"The Brown Wonder"is timeless and truly
inspirational beyond its description. Be clever,
but don't give your Amphi an inferiority complex
with some bogus half ass pseudo-funny name.

Hints
The longer you think about it, the harder it is
going to be. You might find ten names you like
and not be able to choose. Then you will have to
go out and buy nine more Amphis! An easier
solution is to go with your first instinct or the
one that sticks in your head the most, even if it
doesn't seem like your favorite name. Your
Amphi is a unique and special creature, a real
one-of-a-kind. Give your Amphi a real one-of-a-
kind name! And lastly, allow your Amphi
approve of the name before you go public with it.


Amphipoda
`64 Turquoise
San Diego




        
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