amphipoda

   

Snip< "Dear Dr Amphipoda,
I have some questions concerning the mental stability and
rehabilitation of my Amphi from extended cold storage. Up until last
summer my Amphi spent most of 16 years in a cold dark trucking
storage container in Fairbanks Alaska. He or She, I haven't quite
figured it out yet, swam well for the first time in years last summer
and is now living large in my newly acquired heated garage in
Fairbanks. I'm wondering if the long term storage may have had any
negative affects on Amphi's mental well being. I'd hate to be passed
by a big rig and have Amphi go into flash backs. Any thoughts?
Craig in Alaska">snip


Dear Craig in Alaska,
Seems you have two issues ? AND they ARE be related.
Ahhh Hummm - Not knowing the sex of your Amphi could
certainly lead to mental disorders, as could prolonged
cold dark storage (the way I was raised). I have an Amphi
sex determination method I will post later, but first I
recommend you perform some variation of the Rorschach
Amphi Amsoil-blot Test described below?

Amphi Amsoil-blot Perception and Personality :
You've probably heard about the Rorschach Amphi
Amsoil-blot Test. Amphi Amsoil-blots are just
meaningless blobs of synthetic oil on the garage...
right? Yet like clouds and rock formations, Amphi
Amsoil-blots have stirred the imagination for
centuries. In recent years, serious attention has
been given to the study of personality through
interpretation of Amphi Amsoil-blots.

How does an Amphi Amsoil-blot test tell the
psychologist something about personality? It is
said that the characteristics of such blots can be
objectively defined, reliably scored, and efficiently
handled by statistical methods. But the Amsoil-
blots don't really do anything. What's important is
what people say about the images they see. You
might say that the Amsoil-blots act as a mirror
of the mind. Brace yourselves my fine finned
friends... you are entering the mind of Amphipoda.

Mermaid actually pointed them out to me, claiming
they are disgusting and unsightly. It seems that
with the bilge plug removed, our Amphi is capable
of leaving subtle Amsoil-blots on the floor. I sat
upon the garage floor and pondered this unique
phenomenon. Could these be Amphi's way of
communicating? Is there meaning in the dispersion
and location? What do these Amphi Amsoil-blots
represent? Closer inspection revealed there is
structure to the chaos. My analysis concluded the
5 Amphi Amsoil-blots hold the following answers
to the mysteries of amphibious thought.

Amsoil-blot #1: An oval figure, slightly bent in
stature, with the distinct facial features of an
elderly gentleman. This Amsoil-blot represents
the "father figure" and is believed to be that of
Hans Trippel.

Amsoil-blot #2: A comet shaped figure, long
slender tale with a pronounced head. This Amsoil-
blot represents the zygote or tadpole of early
amphibious life.

Amsoil-blot #3: A round figure containing
different stratifications of color and texture.
This Amsoil-blot represents "mother earth"
and her bodies of water.

Amsoil-blot #4: A baton shaped figure, with
bulbous ends connected by a slender shaft.
This Amsoil-blot denotes the generic "tool" so
important for keeping Amphi functional.

Amsoil-blot #5: A seemingly random figure,
with some vague Georgia O'Keeffe floral design,
or maybe its just one of our cats sphincter prints...?

Amphipoda
`64 Turquoise
San Diego, CA