Date: Fri, 31 May 2002 07:56:36

The World Needs Bilge Cleaners Too

Being the highly evolved amphibious life
forms that we are, I sometimes ponder
our duel roles in Amphi cohabitation.
The more glamorous aspects are well
documented in the archives... everything
from spreading smiles to all the incredible
press coverage, but what about the lesser
discussed dark side of Amphi care? I'm
referring to the ugly task of bilge cleaning.
There, I said it... it's by far the worst part
of Amphi's existence. Oh sure, there are
some mighty clean bilges out there, but
ALL bilges eventually end up with the
bowels of amphibious muck. By human
comparison it is paramount to an upper
gastro-intestinal enema with a wire brush.
Nothing even comes close to cleaning out
the ol' bilge area unless you've had a
major root cannel without anaesthesia.
You bet it's painful for Amphi and it
sure ain't no fun for us either. There
sharp edges inside nooks & crannies,
and if you get cut... and are unfortunate
enough to get some hazardous bilge
slime in the wound... amputation is
your only recourse. I can offer few
words of advice in this arena my fine
finned friends, but personal protective
gear is highly recommended. And for
Amphi's sake please take a few moments
to explain the procedure before you
start the process. Also let it be known
that Amphi appreciates pre-warming
of all instruments used inside the bilge.
Nothing more uncomfortable than an
ice cold scraper between the thighs.

Amphipoda
`64 Turquoise
San Diego, CA




        
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